You’re too small
An acquaintance approached me four months ago through the recommendation of a friend, asking if I could run a corporate Dinner & Dance for her company. The event plays host to an approximate 300 guests, pretty much the same figure you would expect from a regular wedding dinner. The proposed deal fell through miserably, with less than 10 sentences between us online.
There are no further details I can provide in this post, because “300 guests” was the only information provided to me. The conversation ended abruptly with the labeling of “you’re too small”. How did that come about? I was upfront with her and told her I worked independently. I do not work for any company. Being upfront and frank with my style of working is always a virtue I behold in my professional life. But, she didn’t seemed to know she had committed several mistakes within one short sentence.
1. The magic number “300″ offered little details, except a blockbuster movie released by that number. At best, it’s a rough estimate for listing, reception, food, gifts and space requirement.
2. She failed tremendously, or should I say she did not even attempt to, find out what my event niche is. Hundreds of event companies and freelancers grab every deal that lands at their feet like a beggar would dig every coin out of the drain, I don’t.
3. Her response was a tat too presumptuous, she probably figured working “independently” meant, yours truly, will be the one and only to serve 30 tables with food, one and only to wire up the lights and sounds, one and only emcee. Perhaps, the clown who will keep her guests’ jaws on the ground too!
Why did I bring up this experience? It took me a month of reflection after this online conversation to gauge what exactly was so wrong about this incident. I pretty much swept it under the carpet after all the reflection but my dear friend Nelson reminded me of this lady today again. The crucial point I was trying to demonstrate wasn’t about the failed deal, but rather how quickly we tend to judge and jump to conclusions with people. Professionals are not spared, when they bring their personalities into their jobs.
The Irony: Clearly, she is ignorant of how events are managed. From the program manager to the producer, from the stagehand to the technicians, all of them cannot be discounted. Yet, we need not be affixed to the same production team for a very realistic reason. Those who are familiar with ZoukOut’s production, you would have realized the biggest event by the most reputable dance club in Singapore is actually managed by a few parties. All of them are professionals in their own fields. Some independently, some not.
Secondly, Dinner and Dance comes in uncountable formats. Sure, you can practise a little plagiarism but that’s entirely your choice. The cost of the event varies widely, from humble 4-digits gathering to the rare 6-digits production even. Let’s put the cost of ballroom, food, gifts, prizes and necessary administrative charges aside. Say… just the entertainment act alone, where am I within the range?
- 30 mins act - $5,000 to $10,000
- 45mins act - $7,000 to $12,000
- Full 60mins (or slightly longer) act - $10,000 to $20,000
Mind you, that’s only for the entertainers. They are no small players, but professionals having their own private performances. Definitely not those small time magicians or hocus pocus hua-la-la acts. Yes, your jaws are probably dropping now. Going by those prices, you would have conceded that these are no small gimmicks twirling at your fingertips but possibly life endangering acts. Tell me, with these price range, how many companies will actually be willing to splurge on quality (professional) entertainment that cost the same amount as all other expenditures put together?
As I sat back and reflected, I wasn’t worried if I could pull off my favourite stunts. Being replied with “you’re too small”, my concern was whether she could even afford my price tag in the first place. Just like shopping along Orchard Road, different boutiques cater to different categories of shoppers. There’s those for the general public, and others in the luxury circuit. That’s pretty much it.
Last but not least, I ain’t really keen on doing Dinner and Dance. I have always preferred marketing related events and this was what I meant when I said she didn’t even bothered to find out where my niche lies in. Even if I had taken up this project, it would have been out of goodwill since she was introduced to me by a friend.
The Repercussions: There are probably two ways we can look at it. The first would be on a personal level, especially when doing inquiries with people we know or at least a friend’s friend. The second would be on a professional level.
On a personal level, I am much more forgiving. I can understand the various personalities in all of us, and for some they may not be used to sounding “needy”. But as friends, we can easily overlook that. Acceptance, is afterall part of friendship.
The same cannot be said professionally though. She, representing her company, is as good as her company speaking to me. Therefore her ways of looking at issues in this instance, represented the way her company would deal with people. She’s asking on behalf of her company, isn’t it? This is the jeopardy of bringing our personalities into our jobs. For some, it is not helpful at all to display their personalities through their professional work.
Little do I know several months down the road, I realized that I wasn’t the only one she had pissed off. With a little digging, I came to realize that other individuals were also upset with her for various reasons like inability to keep confidential issues under wraps and for being upset that her friends do not agree with her views. The character flaw is clearly undeniable. I certainly expect something better from someone actively seen mingling in the social media communities, where strong relationships are claimed to be forged.
Lessons Learnt: Very commonly, we preach how relationships can be improved through social media and networking. More critically, many of us have discussed and showed why relationships between businesses and customers are important. But, does it stops only at customers?
It is crucial to know that good relationships are not only necessary when engaging customers, but it is also imperative that good rapport can be fostered between businesses and partnering companies. Be it for outsourcing or for a joint venture, a relationship on the right note will last a long time to come. At some point, playing down ourselves a little by being humble can end up as the make-or-break factor when things are not going our ways.
At the same time, businesses should also make reasonable efforts to understand who they are seeking services from. Are you approaching the right suppliers for the right products? Are you speaking to the right person with the relevant expertise? Are you open to ideas before you shut your doors? Evidently, these weren’t in the mind of the prospect above.
It’s a big lesson, and a lesson I will treasure for a long time to come. In fact, it will become one of those lost deals that I will have no qualms about. Perhaps, the unhappiness of many others against this same person is comforting to me that the problem isn’t really about me but… she.
Oh btw, any seasoned event organizer will tell you… a dinner for 300 guests is really a tiny project. In layman’s term, chicken feet. It offers little satisfaction, so now you know why I prefer marketing events.
Related Read:
Forbes - Should I Fire My Client?
Creative Behaviour - When To Fire Your Client?
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8 Responses to “You’re too small”
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EDISON ROWAN LEE
Ed savors the building of conversations and always prospecting the inception of values beyond the usual puffery.
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what did you show her??? to make her say you are too small???
=PP
You lost me there…
It’s unfortunate that she cut the conversation short. There could have been some savings if more questions were asked and conversations developed further.
Insightful info about how things are run for such event hosting. I’ve worked with a event company before for my previous employer (a DnD event). Probably this acquaintance of yours might think it’s small too. ;p Anyways, they might be ’small’ but thoroughly enjoyed working them. They’re upfront with what can be done and what’s not based on our budget.
Good read, this article.
Hi Jonathan,
I have not really gone into specific details since everyone has different working style. Glad to read that you have had good experience with “small” companies.
Previously, a property mgmt friend turned to me because a certain enterprise was charging her way too much for a resident night. No new ideas, because it wasn’t necessary. I got it all running at almost half the price she was quoted by the enterprise.
You looked like you could kill me with one arm… so if you are small then the Ed I saw the last few times must be a hologram.
* Looks around Ed for a hologram projector *
It’s your imagination.
Hiya Ed
I’m kinda reminded of the truism “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”.
I think, sadly, that we live in an overheated society… in the business environment and in the larger community environment too. Many people “cope” with that by losing their manners. I have my parents (who live overseas) staying with me at the moment and they are astounded by the kiasuism they are coming across on the trains, in eating places and on the streets every day. I don’t have the heart to tell them that on a daily basis I see that same behaviour being played out by clients and potential clients in my work.
People forget that their bad manners have an impact on the other person, but this thoughtful post is a great reminder. This lady’s ignorant behaviour has been annoying you for a month… when actually, as the Americans would say, “it’s her bad trip”.
I believe that the world is a reflection of yourself. If you are a considerate person with a good heart then you may hit the occasional blip, but overall you’ll be treated well. If you’re ignorant and rude, then you’ll be caught up in a cycle of ignorance and rudeness.
So although I don’t want to wish harm on anyone… if it’s any consolation to you… she probably faces the same level of rudeness from people as she has inflicted on you.
=) Marc
Marc, that’s very enlightening stuffs you have said there. I particularly like this… If you’re ignorant and rude, then you’ll be caught up in a cycle of ignorance and rudeness.
I would like to add on as well, their bad manners will impact their own career and reputation too. When information are shared with others on experiences with a certain individual or company, It’s almost a case of being bitten back by one’s very own actions.
Hope everything’s going on well with you. Chill out, and don’t forget the coffee.